7 YEARS: PART VII (PERSONAL)

Intro ; Part I ; Part II ; Part III ; Part IV ; Part V ; Part VI ; Part VII ; Part VIII

You have no idea how happy I was to have a new year in front of me. 2011 gave me some great memories and some not so great experiences. I remember breathing the deepest sigh of relief as that shiny, crystal ball fell and the clock struck midnight. 2012 was my chance at a new story. In January I joined my brother's film company Vinegar Hill on the set of their first feature length film. I volunteered my camera and spent two weeks photographing behind the scenes moments on set. Documentary photography has always been my passion so it was great to exercise that muscle a little bit more outside the wedding world. I imagined myself walking away with some great photos to give my brother and his business partner David (a wedding client from 2008!) but I walked away with much more. It was on this trip that I met a very special someone from Minneapolis.

In February I pulled off the most elaborate surprise visit of my life. It started with a phone call from my best friend's boyfriend Caleb. He told me he was planning on proposing to Kristen while visiting her family in Florida. YES! It was so exciting. But then, the part that involved me…he wanted me to secretly photograph it. In Disney World!

So down I went. The whole thing was a secret so I had to be extra careful not to tweet or Instagram. Also, as to not alert Kristen to anything unusual, I sent her text messages about how much I missed her and wished she was in Maryland with me. I'm a sly dog right? Well, just wait until you see the disguise I wore at the park.

Kristen and I have been best friends since middle-school. She knows every outfit in my closet. So I rocked the "Retro Yankees Soccer Mom" look. I wish I could say I enjoyed my day as much as I enjoy blogging about it now. But I was a sweaty, nervous mess. One thing photographers forget to mention when they photograph engagements is that there's a chance you can RUIN the best day of someone's life by being seen. So I stalked every uneventful corner of Disney World. The gift shops, cafeterias...I even waited in line for a Disney Princess show that didn't exist. I didn't go on any rides or even eat sit down for a full meal because I was afraid Kristen would pick the same restaurant.

But man was the result worth it.

I still get a chubby ol' lump in my throat when I look at these. That moment will forever be engraved in my mind. 

My first wedding of the season came in March. My sweet friends Sam & Emily hired Kristen and I to shoot part of the wedding and attend the rest. I like it when that happens.

In April, a very special Minnesota Texan visited me in Maryland and officially asked me out. :) Later that month I cashed in on my collegiate freedom and hopped a plane for California with my friend Alex. We survived three days of 107 degree heat in the Coachella Valley to see our favorite bands. It was an incredible experience. (That's a mini Florence Welch at the bottom there!)

I drove from Palm Springs to LAX to drop Alex off at the airport and then down to San Diego to see my dear friend Chelsea and her new husband Jacob. I'm convinced California's coastline drive is a spiritual experience.

I think I broke a personal record for the number of airports I visited in a month's span in April. From San Diego I flew home to Maryland for 24 hours and then out to Minneapolis for the first time. It was a beautiful four day whirlwind trip before I hopped on a plane for San Francisco. If you can't tell by now, I was really happy to not have homework waiting for me at home.

Kristen was doing a quick photo shoot in the city before heading back to her own wedding planning so we had just 48 hours to see as much as we could. My calf muscles could vouch for that the day after. But in just two days hours, San Francisco became one of very favorite cities ever. It still holds that title a year later. I truly loved that city. The air was crisp and cool, the architecture bold and beautiful, and the views…oh, the views. Okay, I need to stop now or I'll find myself booking a flight.

One day after I flew home from San Francisco I photographed my dear friend and UMBC classmate Caitlin's wedding. It's one of my favorite weddings to look at when I'm bored. It's a so beautiful!

2012 was already better than I could have imagined. I'd seen both coasts, heard some amazing music, met someone super special (coughcough), and reconnected with my dearest friends from college. If I stayed home and photographed Maryland weddings the rest of the year I'd have been happy. But, once again, my British friends had other plans. 

Yes, the same dear family in England was having me back to photograph Reuben's sister Abi's wedding! I can't help but laugh when I think back to how this all started and how every year they found a way to have me back. Well done, guys.

The first order of business was a rehearsal dinner on the Thames River. It was absolutely gorgeous. Tourists were waving and taking photos of us as we passed underneath them. I kept looking around thinking "Does anybody notice I don't belong here?!" Three weddings in the U.K and I still felt like a poser. I'm not sure you ever get used to something like that.

On May 26th, Abigail married Jasper at St. Helen's Bishopsgate, the same church I photographed Ruth and Reuben's wedding two years prior.

The reception venue was out of this ever loving world. Again, while everyone graceful sat down to enjoy their meal I kept looking around thinking "But do you SEE where we are right now?"

I had plans to meet my friend Sylvie in Paris but she had to cancel last minute. I'd already booked my return flight from Charles de Gaulle so I needed to find a back up plan quick. Turns out, my boyfriend Stefan was in Poland for a work trip so just like that I booked a flight and flew to wild and wonderful Wroclaw, Poland. It was the most random place I never saw myself flying to. I honestly didn't know a thing about Poland. Well it was a good thing Stefan's work trip was a music tour around the country. We visited countless cities by bus, mostly small ones without an ounce of tourism. At each stop, talented musicians poured out of our bus and performed songs. We ate cabbage and pizza, toured royal houses, visited local high schools, rode the governor's horses, and crashed a Polish wedding. It was perfect. And oh so unexpected.

One of the highlights from my trip to Poland was visiting the Auschwitz concentration camp. There aren't words to describe how emotional that trip was. It's etched in my mind forever. Perhaps the hardest part about walking into the camp was actually walking out. For the first time in my life I was powerfully aware what a tiny percentage of people ever walked out of that camp like I just did.

I don't normally use the word "highlight" for such a horrific place, but I think it is so important for us to not forget this ugly part of the past. Forgetting is the first step to repeating and we can never let something happen like that happen again. 

I was finally home. Before you get the idea that this year was a piece of cake, remember that I still had weddings to edit and tons of emails to reply to when I returned. Many people think being your own boss means ultimate flexibility and doing whatever you want. While my schedule is more flexible than most, every bit of it fall on my shoulders. And until I'm comfortable outsourcing (still not there yet) it will always be me answering every email, every phone call, and editing every single photo. It takes a lot of diligence but it is possible.

On June 9th I photographed the second most popular wedding of my career. Jamie and McKenzie welcomed me into their world with open arms and I truly fell in love with their friends, family, and alpacas, of course. 

McKenzie, dear. If you're reading this. Thank you. It's not every day I meet someone as bright and beautiful as you. Although we didn't know each other before, I felt as if I really genuinely saw your soul this day. One of my favorite moments was photographing you and the girls get ready in your room. You hadn't put on your make up or even washed your hair and yet you sat there glowing more than most bride's after 3 hours of primping and preparation. Thank you for making your farm home to me that day.

Over the next two months I played bridesmaid and photographer. It was a busy summer in whole new way with Kristen getting married in late August. But I loved every second of it.

Kristen's wedding was incredible. One of my favorite memories was bestie Courtney and I helping Kristen use the bathroom one last time before the wedding. It was a hectic morning and we hardly had time to sit back and process what was happening. For some reason, if took all of us crammed into the bathroom for it to finally "hit me" that Kristen was about to get married. Courtney and I immediately started tearing up until we realized where we were and laughter saved us from raccoon eyes.

Just 5 days after Kristen's wedding I boarded another plane for the wedding of my dreams in Israel. The bride, Freya, was college roommates with Ruth Lewis. AGAIN, Ruth and Reuben were responsible for booking me another international wedding. Writing these posts has really helped me realize all of this is thanks to them. Ruth & Reuben, if you're reading, thank you. I owe you a brand new car or something. 

Tel Aviv was not what I was expecting. They say New York is the city that never sleeps. Well clearly "they" have never been to Tel Aviv. There was never a time of the night I did not see a family with toddler aged children grilling food and listening to music by the beach. The city did NOT rest. It was phenomenal. Guy and Freya's wedding followed suit. I have never photographed a more lively wedding. They kept me on my toes until 3am! 

Me and my dear friends Lucy, Ruth, and Reuben. Thanks for taking this sunburned ginger in when I needed it most. You were the best Israel companions an American girl could ask for.

Freya and Guy's wedding took place in Caesarea, Israel. It was jaw-droppingly beautiful.

I wish everyone could know Guy and Freya personally. These two are so much fun. And they adore each other. Sometimes I shoot weddings where the bride and groom almost forget about each other in the hustle and bustle of the wedding day. Not Freya and Guy. I saw how they looked at each other. How they managed to find each other in the midst of a rowdy dance party. How Guy would whisper into Freya's ear and kiss her cheek before staring at her like he knew he was the luckiest guy in the room. It was beautiful to watch and I'm lucky to have been asked to photograph their wedding day.

It was the end of September but my adventures were far from over. The quantity of weddings in 2012 was much less than years previous. But I was traveling everywhere. It was impossible to fit any more in! In September I went back to Minneapolis and returned to photograph Susan and Brian's wedding in Virginia. Their reception is still one of my all-time favorites.

Jacqueline and Peter's wedding took place a week later at Sundara.

It was back to Minneapolis and two more weddings before my final international excursion of the year: South Africa. And, gooood lord, was it the right note to end on.

Again, I'm speechless. South Africa is quite possibly the most beautiful place I've ever been. The purpose of the visit was to accompany my 85 year old grandmother to see my aunt and uncle who live in Cape Town. My cousin also joined us a few days in. It was glorious to be somewhere so beautiful and not have to work! We spent every day exploring the coast, searching for dassies, drinking good wine, and bartering for Christmas gifts for family and friends back home. We took a cable car to the top of Table Mountain and drove to the very end of the Cape of Good Hope. And on top of it all, we got to celebrate Thanksgiving as a family. It was like whipped cream on top of a pumpkin pie. Perfect.

 2012 took me to 13 different states and 8 different countries. I boarded 36 planes and photographed 15 weddings. I cried over beauty more than sadness and fell in love with places I never knew existed. It was a year I never dreamed to ask for because I would never have dreamed for something that good!

So, as I bring this '7 Years' story to a close I can't help but look back with a heart of complete gratitude. Gratitude for faithful clients, talented professors, generous friends, and a great God. Gratitude for the hard times that taught me to fight and gratitude for the good times to remind me they're still worth fighting for. I worked hard for the life I have now, but it's those on the outside that truly made it successful. So, to each one of you, thank you. I hope to give seven more years to something l love as much as I've loved these past seven.

With all my love,

Lydia

7 YEARS: PART VI (PERSONAL)

Intro ; Part I ; Part II ; Part III ; Part IV ; Part V ; Part VI ; Part VII ; Part VIII

Ah, 2011. The mystery year. If you're extra observant you'll notice 2011 is the only year I don't have a "Best Of" post about since I started the tradition in 2009. 2011 was a difficult year. I won't dwell on specifics but in case you think my life is unicorns and butterflies at least know this: 2011 sucked bad. Yet, somehow in the mess it's also home to some of my favorite memories as a senior at UMBC. Life will give you the good and the bad. Sometimes it will toss depression, anxiety, heartbreak, or loneliness on top of that. Cry it out, by all means. Don't shower for a week. Eat cake for breakfast and then go back to bed. But eventually you have to do something. You can either sob alone in your room or put on your favorite dress and go dancing with your friends. I did a solid couple months of the former before I finally reached the latter. And you know what happened? I found myself exercising a muscle I never knew I had before: courage. I knew I had foolishness. It was how this whole business came to be. I knew I had diligence. But courage? That had never truly been tested until 2011.

My first order of business was to get a new camera. So, in January my current camera and best baby Nikon D700 arrived on my doorstep.

In March, I photographed my first wedding of the season in Florence, Arizona. A friend of Andrea's, Anna was married by the only body of water in the entire state. Well, that's an exaggeration. But it was definitely a welcome surprise after the long dessert drive.

Since school was already in session, I quickly returned to Maryland and jumped right into my last Spring semester of college. It was bittersweet! As I've mentioned before, I adored college. My creative, unsorted, procrastinating mind found sweet solace in scheduled assignments and required learning. Like, come on. I was required to learn new, amazing things about art. It was heaven.

That semester was especially up my alley. I took a documentary photography class (hallelujah!), a collage class, and a printmaking class. Bowling too. Which was more like my twice a week belly laugh. But, for a PE requirement, it much more my speed than rowing or water polo.

In printmaking we learned about solvent transfers using a laser printer, Orange-Glo, and a spoon. And here I thought magic could only be found in the darkroom! It was mind-blowing. Printmaking brought out a whole other side of my brain. It was the perfect mix of photography and drawing.

Later in the semester we learned wood-cut, intaglio, lithography, and screen printing. I loved something different about each of them. Wood-cut was the hardest (I'm not patient enough to carve wood all day) but the texture it produced was unparalleled. 

Intaglio was lovely but a little repetitive. Also, our class used plexiglass for our engravings which made the same noise as nails on a chalk board when I carved into it. I thought I was going to die. Thankfully, if I turned up my music really loud in my headphones I couldn't hear it. Everyone else in the room, however….

Screen printing was definitely the easiest and most versatile. You can put anything you want under the screen - tshirt, tote bag, skateboard - and the ink will work it's magic.

Lithography was probably my favorite, albeit the most time-consuming and physically exhausting. I spent days on end trying to perfect my 3-color print of the lion door knob below. Arcade Fire and Dr. Pepper got me through those days. 

Printmaking struck a cord with me. I eagerly used this new platform to express the hurt that was going on in my heart. It was so freeing. During critiques my professor would often ask us to explain the inspiration behind the peice. I'm pretty sure I came close to tears trying to explain this last print without spilling my guts out in front of the class. I enjoyed printmaking so much that I decided last minute to add a Print Media minor to my load. It only required one more class and I would use any excuse to eat up some printmaking knowledge before graduation.

On May 15th I photographed my second wedding of the year. It was for a couple in my church and I knew practically everyone there. Normally that would be a great thing but that day my whole body felt heart sick and I was struggling to keep it together. I remember making it all the way to the reception and in the middle of the father/daughter dance just losing it. I kept my camera close to my face to hide the waterfall, even pretending to take photos when I wasn't so nobody would notice. As the song ended I wandered off to a corner, cleaned up my mascara, turned around, and put a smile on. I love my job a lot, but some days are hard work. That night was especially hard.

Back at school I worked tirelessly to finish my printmaking, collage, and documentary photography classes before my Senior Show in May.

I need to say a few things about my collage class before I move on. Collage was my favorite class in my entire 4.5 years of college. The professor, classmates, assignments, combined with the overall curiosity and creativity made it my favorite 3.5 hours on a Friday ever. 

Professor Durant didn't give us grades for our assignments. Some may think that encouraged us to BS stuff the night before. But, honestly, it was the complete opposite. Without the pressure of impressing the professor or earning a specific grade, my mind was free to make whatever I wanted. Again, this class was perfectly timed to arrive in 2011. I'd never been in a class that felt so much like therapy. Between the class discussions, silent protests around campus about cats (!), and class 'critiques' where we made sushi and ate cake, it was the highlight of my college career.

On May 19th I had my Senior Show. I honestly can't remember much of that night but it was wonderful to have my friends and family there to meet my classmates and see our hard work.

One week later a very special event happened. My brother and dearest sister-in-law got married!

Bestie Kristen shot the wedding but I did the portraits of Mike & Joce. Their wedding was one of the most wonderful days ever. I've never seen my brother happier and it meant to the world to be asked to photograph such an important day in his life.

(PC - Beth Murphy)

It's difficult for me to remember the rest of the summer. My mind was in a haze and my body was just going through the motions. I loved my clients, loved my weddings, but everything inside hurt. It got to the point where I started to doubt my very interest in art. Did I even want to do photography anymore? I'm grateful to say I emerged from this haze by the end of the year, but it took a toll on my confidence. If you've ever wondered if I still get nervous before weddings, the answer is yes! There are times I wake up and worry that I've lost all my talent in my sleep. I fear that I won't be able to produce the wonderful images my clients hired and paid good money for. So if you've ever felt this way, you're not alone! I've walked away from so many weddings thinking "Well, that sucked. I didn't get anything good that time!" and then I start looking through my camera and I'm relieved to see really beautiful images. It's all a head game. At some point, you have to sit back and trust your ability. Work hard, tirelessly even. But at the end of the day you should stand with confidence knowing you earned it. 

I needed to clear my head and find my inspiration again. Well, leave it to my dear friends in England to make that happen at the perfect time. 

August 28 I boarded a plane for London to shoot Ruth's sister Hannah's wedding in Brighton. She saw Ruth's photos and loved them! Having briefly visited it the year before with Kristen I was out of my mind thrilled to be asked back to officially shoot there. A few days before the wedding I did a session for Ruth & Hannah's family. My heart is so full when I look at these photos. I dearly love this family and the opportunities they've given me.

The trip was exactly what I needed. I was able to visit my favorite art museums, eat amazing food, and meet up with my dear friend Sylvie who happened to be in London at the same time. More importantly, I was far, far away from everything that gave me heartbreak. I made new friends, revived old ones, and cleansed my mind. I can still smell the sea and hear the sound of the gulls.

Finally it was time for Hannah and Tom's brilliant, beautiful wedding. It's impossible of me to choose just a few photos of this wedding so enjoy the binge from one of my top 5 favorite weddings ever.

Hannah and Tom truly have hearts of gold. While their wedding day was absolute perfection, my highlight was getting to know these two and their family/friends. I'd already gotten to know Hannah's family in 2010 but Tom's family welcomed me in as one of their own. It's no exaggeration to say I think of their generosity every time I remember this trip. I joined countless family dinners, was given so many glasses of wine, and even invited to give my input on wedding decorations! The day before the wedding I found myself in the tent with a box of decorations and the freedom to dress the walls as I saw fit. Incredible! Both Hannah and Tom's families viewed me as a legitimate part of the wedding. Having shot plenty of weddings were I felt strangely like "the help" I knew how remarkable and special this was.

I returned home with a renewed excitement for the rest of the year. I had three more weddings before the end of the season, ending with a dear wedding of two fabulous and favorite people in the Outer Banks, North Carolina. What a way to end the year.

My final semester of college was light but challenging. I was enrolled in an upper level writing class and an incredibly complex darkroom course called Alternative Processes. If I was going to keep up my stubborn goal of a 4.0 GPA at graduation I would need to focus.

My final for Alternative Processes was one of the biggest headaches of my college career. I had no idea how long it would take me when I dreamed it up.

Starting in the darkroom, I used the Van Dyke and Cyanotype methods and brushed them onto numbered scrabble pieces. I then flattened the pieces under glass with a patterned transparency on top, slid them under the light table, and exposed them for a couple minutes. Then it was drying time. The pieces were wooden so I gave them a day or two to completely dry. Finally, I mix-matched the patterns to create the final print. In the case of the money plant photo, I upped the difficulty by creating spaces between each of the the scrabble pieces. It was exhausting. I love the final result though.

Alternative processes critique went well and I got the A. Writing class was intense and I'm pretty sure the professor hated my guts but, hey, she gave me an A! My independent studies earned me an A and just like that....4.0!! I did it! This full time photographer, full time student just earned herself a Summa Cum Laude. It's perhaps the thing I'm most proud of in my 25 years of life. Man, did it feel good.

2011 was over and it was time to say goodbye to wonderful college, wonderful professors, and wonderful classmates. The classmate goodbye was the hardest. I formed some of the sweetest friendships during my time at UMBC. Not only were they brilliant artists, but they were hard workers and kind souls. It also didn't hurt that they were as obsessed with cats as I was...which is saying a lot. Club JOBO, you will always be in my heart.

(PC - Megan Lloyd)

It was time to turn the page. Since the start of my business in 2006 I'd always been a full time student. What would Lydia Jane Photography look like without semester restraints? 

Find out tomorrow in Part VII!